Guide to leaving a girl

Not to worry, I won't tell you how to get a girl and leave you hanging in case the female has psychopathic tendencies or in the words of Tiger Woods,'bitches be crazy'. I got you Homie. 

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A LETTER FROM THE GRAVE

My time has come and gone.
I have paid the ripper what I owe.
My only regrets  amongst all I've done
Is not making a good bargain for my soul

I hope you get this before the breaking of dawn
I pray you adhere to it like gum
Because from my fiery after life I see no sun
And my heart faints because I should have been a better son.

I'm being mourned surely by mother
And I see the disappointment  in the eyes of father.
So this is my massage from 6feet down under
Never lose faith, never surrender
Never defect,  never to hide the truth, blunder
Because beauty might lie in the eyes of the beholder
But the consequences of your actions will rest on your shoulder.

My massage will expire with your shado
I am soiled,  I have lost my glow
Follow me not or this pain will your mind blow
Your will will be broken and your suffering will only grow
Heed my massage for I speak from down below.

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Guides To Getting a Girl.

                 Guides To Getting a girl
Disclaimer: the steps here in under have been tried and experimented upon, if tried by anyone, I shan't beheld responsible for the consequences thereof ..However do feel free to send your experiences in the comment section

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My world of psycho's

   A wise man once said ,"Death was the greatest gift given to man", well let's agree to disagree because  I feel the greatest and purest of all gifts is pain. 

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Where.do.babies.com.from? Pt. 2

Johnny : Daddy where do babies come from?

Daddy  : When two people love each other and they play upstairs, then babies will

come.

Later that week...

Johnny : Daddy! Daddy! I will soon be a daddy!

Daddy  : What?

Johnny : I played with Sandra upstairs.

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Where.do.babies.come.from?

WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM?

Johnny : Daddy where do babies come from?

Daddy  : from God.

Johnny : how?

Daddy  : He makes them and sends them to mommy.

Johnny : He sends them to the house?

Daddy  : No, to her tummy.

Johnny : How does he put them in her tummy?

Daddy  : He gives me the grace to put them in her tummy.

Johnny : How? Through her mouth?

Daddy  : No! Well yes, but that never works.

Johnny : Then how?

Daddy  : Johnny go to your room!

Later that day...

Johnny : Daddy where do babies come from?

Daddy  : \**pauses\** go and ask your mother.

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The.laws.of.little.white.lies #2

My hommie Albert Einstein once said only two things are infinite, the universe and woman's stupidity (don't correct my quote smart arse)

         
Yeah not sure why the niggur said that, but he was a really smart dude (or so I have  heard; not like I met him or anything). We all know men are jerks but when it comes to dumbness, it's women who take the cake. Look I like women (My last article made that very clear),  and it saddens me because most ladies have gotten their hearts broken so many times that at this rate men might start breaking other vital organs like their liver, kidney etc. (not sure of any other vital organ, was never good at biology but I'm going to take a leap of faith and say boobs? they're vital enough to me )

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The.hawker.

Everyone in the bus was suddenly in a hurry. They had been in the gridlock for about twenty minutes. Speculations of what the cause of the traffic could be were bouncing around inside the bus. One man suggested that a car must have broken down in the middle of the road and upon the dismissal of that hypothesis, another man added that it might be armed robbers. After the panic from alarmed passengers came an onslaught of insults and rebukes on the newest most hateful man in the bus community. A few minutes later, a lady peered through her window and announced that it was in fact an army check point.

With their minds at ease, transactions began between hungry passengers and eager road traffic hawkers.
"How much for those bananas?" A young man asked for what seemed like the hundredth time to a girl of not more than sixteen lifting a tray of bananas for the man who was yet to make up his mind which bunch was biggest.
"Oga, they are all the same price, 50 naira." The girl said trying to sound as polite as her trembling arm could permit.
"Here, give me that one." The man said handing her a five hundred naira note.

Zoom, zoom. The driver of the rickety bus commanded the engine forward as the army officer rapped on the bus twice signaling it clear to move.
"Wait! Driver wait!" The man screamed frantically at a non responsive driver.
"My change! Give me my money back! No, not the bananas! The money!!"
"Oga no change"
"I don't care! Give me my five hundred! I no buy again" the man yelled switching to typical Nigerian pigin English and sweating profusely in the 20 seconds the transaction with this idiotically slow girl who should have stayed in school and left this delicate work for professionals began going south.

The girl tossed the bananas through the window at the man, in her confusion, barely avoiding a collision with the road block by so little. She glanced at her compadres in trade all of whom stood there through out the whole drama grateful for the entertaining break from work they all deserved and they smiled at her. She glanced with concern over at the army man who to her relief didn't seem to understand what all the extra noise was about. Her eyes conveyed confusion and remorse but the smile forming on her lips betrayed her. She will eat well today. "Christmas is a little early this year" a little voice whispered in her ears and she immediately baptized the sweet voice benevolent that wouldn't see her go hungry.
"Thieves! Thieves! She did that on purpose. Evil daughter of the putrid waters. She shall choke on all four hundred and fifty naira of my change!" The young man swore, wiping the sweat off his face.
"Driver, you maniac, why did you not stop?!" He yelled in labored voice forward to the back of the driver's head who was smiling wickedly at the road ahead.
"When soldier man say go, you go" was all the driver said.
"I lost my money because you are as brave as a Yoruba man in a bar fight! My sister would have put this old dying bus of yours in reverse if the whole battalion was at that check point and she is twelve!"
"I'm sure your sister wouldn't have priced a bunch of bananas for the better part of 10minutes." A passenger said from the front setting the whole bus in a bust of eye watering laughter which was brewing for awhile since the incident.
"That has to be the most expensive bunch of bananas I have seen. You should get a showcase for it." Another man added only to make the bus rock harder from another wave of laughter.

(Adopted from Chidera Onu's "Harmattan" coming 2017 in bookstores around you.)

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Death.by.firing.squad.

The young man got up slowly and approached the cell bars, arms stretched out behind him to be cuffed, a ritual that was now a mere formality. The guard who cuffed him had been at the prison since he was a pimply faced kid, and knew better than to attempt conversation with the condemned inmate. Instead he silently opened the door and silently stepped aside for the inmate.

He was led to the laundry room behind the cell block, which was a make-shift execution room today. He wasn't taken to the proper execution chamber because his death was to be by firing squad, which had long been dropped from the list of allowed execution methods, due to questions asked of its effectiveness after an inmate bled for forty-one agonizing minutes before he died because the prison quack doctor failed to locate his heart properly. However he had been sentenced in 2043, 5 years before the bill disallowing it was passed.

The laundry room which was usually as bright as can be allowed in a prison was different today, all the windows were boarded up, and the walls were covered in black polythene. The room was divided across with a black, almost opaque curtain. He was led to the other side of the curtain where there was a seat, cushioned by sand bags on three sides, no doubt to absorb the blood. Every detail was thought through. Methodical.

After he had been strapped into the chair, his shirt removed, the doctor came in with a stethoscope to find his heart. After locating it, he taped a fluorescent paper on it, on the inmate's  bare chest because the shirt was baggy and even the slightest shift could mean a slow painful death for the inmate. One had to wonder what he had done to be a death row doctor after several years of medical school. He left the inmate strapped to the chair in nothing but the torn blue jeans the prison had seen fit to provide for him. He wasn't allowed to choose his own clothes or wear any underwear- all part of the prisons way of finally humiliating him before killing him. He wondered if another person had died in these jeans, it was either that or the prison had a large supply of tattered torn jeans somewhere.

Finally the executioners arrived, five of them. He could see their silhouettes through the curtain. One of the guards came to place a black bag over his head, so they would not see his eyes through the curtain and chicken out. Everything was set up to make it easy for them, so they wouldn't hesitate when the moment came to pull the trigger. The curtain was black so the cowards could pretend they weren't killing a man, for he was practically invisible behind it. The only thing they could see through it was the white paper so it could as well have been target practice. Four of them were given live ammo and one of them was given a blank cartridge, so that they could all imagine they hadn't fired a fatal shot-if they so desired.

He was given a time window of two minutes for last words, he kept mute, refusing to hope for a miracle. The prospect of death could make even the most unrepentant cynic or sceptic believe in God. He would be different from those before him that had pleaded that their families be taken care of, or those that had asked for bulletproof vests or for the executioners to turn the other way- pleas disguised as jokes. He did not hope that the phone would ring, or a court injunction would arrive at the last minute. He was ready.

READY!

The executioners stood in a line in front of him. He wondered how many of them would be haunted by him, how many would go back to their beds and find him waiting. The thought of it made him smile. And then he thought how everybody in the room was not different from him, the doctor , the executioners with their rifles, all except the priest who had performed the last rites, they were all condemned.

AIM!

He wondered if the bullets would pierce his heart at the same time or if they would hit their target one after the other. Then he wondered if his chest muscles would slow down the bullets. He was well built and tall, he had spent up to 20 hours each week at the gym. Even after 10 years of prison food, he was still an impressive figure.

FIRE!

As he sat dying, he wondered if he should have spent more time at the gym.

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The.laws.of.little.white.lies.

Okay let me break it down, it was a bright Saturday morning, and waking up late as usual, I walked straight to the kitchen ,(yeah boo hoo I didn’t brush).  Now listen attentively and get this part, the aroma was nice because I was practically eating the food through my nostrils, I could taste it before I got to the kitchen, then lo and behold breakfast was served, but as soon as it touched my tongue, I almost threw up because it tasted like crap!!, now I don’t mean the crustaceans because when u fry those they are awesome. It was fried rice on a Saturday morning not like she was rushing to work or anything,

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Guides.to.profound.power.

Power, power, power. According to the oxford advanced English dictionary is "the ability to basically tell anyone to go screw himself".

'Hereinunder'[new word] are a few tips you need to obtain power.

1. Be so rich, rich people become insecure around you. Acquire so much wealth, people have to come to the conclusion you have a war house in your backyard. If you don't have this kind of money, not to worry, just have many friends spread rumors about how sickly rich you are, let them throw in tales of a few flying ships you posses.

2. Have ridiculously superfluous security. No one knows you, no one cares if you live or die, this is immaterial. Hire an agency of men in black, professionals or not. Soon people will start to wonder if you are worth killing. This is a good thing, it means you have bigger enemies than them therefore you are more powerful. Buy guard dogs and put a 'beware of dogs And tigers' sign on you gate. Make a barbed wire fence and put a disclaimer sign in case of electrocution, no one will verify, I promise.
Buy a car and make sure everyone thinks it is bullet proof with counteroffensive features.
#insert photo of stela oduwa#

3. Be a humongous ass. Do not ever give people positive incentives. Don't reward a job well done with a bonus pay. Do it this way instead; "good job Johnny, now you get to keep your pretty little head ehh"
People will fear you and no mutiny shall be thought of by any party. Never do favors unless you are depositing to withdraw at a later time.

4. Hierarchy is established by aggressiveness and size. Are you vertically challenged? No problem. Just make sure your voice covers missing spaces. Never talk gently where a good French will do no harm. Do not threaten to kick people's ass, you might not get around to doing it, hence, you look weak.
If an ass requires kicking, by all means do it right away. For in the words of Sir Benjamin Franklin: 'never leave an ass whooping for another day"

5. Make your Ex-enemies your closest friends. Never keep someone you like too close to your inner circle, they have to many reasons to screw up. They will realize this and mutiny shall ensue. Your former enemies on the other hand, will be anxious to prove their loyalty. They will go out of their way to please you. Trust me for I am a random friendly guy from the internet.

6. Your secrets are safest with you. Do not share your secrets or fears for therapeutic purposes. The top is a lonely place, climb with a lot of magazines. If you must share, let it be within your inner circle formed outta sheer fear and never trust. Each member having more to lose from the collapse of your empire. Never have a right hand man, have four or five of which at least 2 hates the others' guts. Let them be smart, cowardly, vain and fat men.

7. You find a dope ass name, one that strikes fear in the heart of those who hear it. Nothing silly like captain hook. Wear an eye patch, eye patches are mysterious and a few stories of how you lost the eye to a huge sea monster won't hurt.

8. Control something everyone needs and use it as a currency. Remind them constantly that it is safest in your hands. Give it to them only when they need it and not a second before. Anyone you cannot control, shut out of your territory and convince your people they are terrible and bad and want nothing but their down fall.
#insert photo of Kim(North k leader#caption: I have no idea how this got here.

Well, hurry up and read this before someone hacks this blog and change the language to Korean!

***

Disclaimer: this writer is protected from all responsibility should anyone try the afore mentioned steps and die before stage 4. If however by some chance you succeed and take over the world, then I get a country named after me and be king of that country. Any country will do as long as it isn't in Asia and it is rich as shit!

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What.it.does.it.mean.to.be.gay?

So I was wandering aimlessly about the internet, as I am wont to do when I stumbled upon this;


hot right?

That's Bruce Caitlyn Jenner posing for a selfie with ex wife Kris Jenner, if you didn't already know.And I was like "hmmm", then I was like "is he she still attracted to her?" So I decided to ask google.
I was like "google?"
Google was like "yeah?"
"Is Caitlyn still attracted to Bruce?"
Google said "tf am I supposed to know?"
So I binged that shit, and I found this; (her words are in pink because it's so rad)

"Honestly, I just don't even know that, I don't even want to go there right now. I'm just happy living myself.

Which I found unsatisfactory. So I did what all trueborn Nigerians do; Ignorantly assume shit. Caitlyn Bruce Jenner is still attracted to chicks okay? (at least for this post)
Which brings us to the question; what does it mean to be gay?
Miriam Webster thinks being gay is to be homosexual. Now for those of us that don't know, homosexual is a hybrid word derived from the Greek "homo" which means "same" and the Latin "sexual" which means "place you shit from". The etymology is subject to interpretation
Now that we all know what it means to be gay, lets move on to what it means for Brucelyn. Is she gay or not?
A few years ago, to me all sex changes were due to being gay. You want to screw dudes, but you're a guy, so you do a sex change, to help you screw dudes, that was it. The same also applied to girls.

This dude wouldn't have a problem screwing guys though

But that was the past and this is the present , where old norms are constantly being redefined. Yesterday's "mullato" and "black people" are today's "biracial" and "African Americans". Blame political correctness. What is today's straight and gay?

 

And this is the question that Brucelyn poses to modern society. Since people don't do sex changes just because they are gay, how do we label them? What category do they fall under?  Can one change from being gay to being straight?  Is Brucelyn gay because she is a woman attracted to another woman? That would mean that gayness is a purely physical thing wouldn't it?
Some would argue that gayness is a state of mind. Which would mean that when Bruce was still married to Kris and a dude, he was lesbian, since he was a woman upstairs and whatnot.
These are really grey areas. Can someone please come up with a chart for this?
 
Who is gay? Who is straight? And what lies in between? And more importantly.
Am I gay if I think this is hot?

No Seriously



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That.Conspiracy.Theory: "AIDS is Man Made"

 Agatha Christie once famously said, "The simplest explanation is always the most likely." However, when something shocking or catastrophic happens in our lives, simple explanations just aren't satisfying. We crave deeper reason and meaning and when that isn't given to us, sometimes we create our own. This is how conspiracy theories are often born -- someone doesn't like the official account of a major event and challenges it with a different version. 

Conspiracy theories can attract a wide array of people, from vehement supporters to those who just like a good story. Whether they're somewhat believable or completely ridiculous, the most popular conspiracy theories got that way for a reason -- they're just plain fascinating.

In this article, I will be talking about the conspiracy theory that says Aids is a Man Made disease. Your opinions are most welcome, feel free to tell me what you think in the comments section.

Those in the scientific community generally believe HIV originated from a strain of Simian Immunodeficiency Virus found in western African monkeys. But when a group of 500 African Americans were surveyed in a 2005 study published in the Journal of Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome, over half of them said that AIDS was created by the government. Conspiracy theories about why the government might have created the virus ranged from population control to the weakening of racial minority groups and gay people. Some also say that there's a cure for AIDS being back held by the government for similar reasons.

Let’s say AIDS was actually created by the government for reasons suggested in the previous paragraph, can we say that the purpose has been achieved or has the government created a plague that has threatened human life more than any other disease has in recorded history (excluding cancer of course). Ironically though, governments around the world have spent billions of tax-payers money to contain this evil they have allegedly created. There is no argument science and technology has advanced drastically over the years, and one truth is glaring, we have created more problems, deadly ones at that in our desperate attempt to ‘improve our living’. I won’t be shocked if this theory becomes a fact.

Has the government kept back the cure from the governed, a lot of people agree! Few weeks back there was this story about a University of Benin lecturer who had discovered a sure cure for aids. I verified the claim was true, but there hasn't been any chatter about it in international media which sure raises my curiosity as to what happened to our dear lecturer’s cure.

With the rate of corruption and dirty politics in our country and the world at large I totally agree the cure for aids and other pandemics have been kept from us by big corporations and even government, they are amassing wealth at the expense of the larger public and feed us with empty promises and propaganda. Whether the government created the disease, I can’t say for sure but here’s what I know: humans will drive this planet to destruction at the rate we’re going!

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Have.your.name.written.in.gold : easy steps the nigerian way

P.S: All resemblance to any actual life character,is well... Almost apologized.

Nigeria is a great country and I am not being sarcastic!

Don’t speak English like an Ibadan man. Speak

with the kind of phonetics that even your mother

will wonder where you were born.

There are an estimated 170 million Nigerians.

The overwhelming proportion of these will live

and die unknown and unsung. Airports will not

be named after them. Neither will universities be

established in their honour. A hundred years

from now, people will not even remember they

ever existed, except that they might have some

children and grandchildren hanging around.

Surely, you don’t want that to happen to you.

You want to be known. You want to be rich. You

want to be a man or woman of timber and

caliber. There are peculiarly Nigerian ways to

achieve this. The formulas have been firmly

established by our good-for-nothing politicians

and businessmen. But don’t worry; they don’t

own the copyright to them, so you are free to

follow their vainglorious footsteps.

Don’t waste your time going to school. Don’t

waste time trying to develop a cure for cancer.

Nigerians are not known for such endeavours,

and we don’t appreciate those who waste their

lives ensuring we have a better future. We are

only interested in those who are committed to

today.

If you want to be a big man or woman; if you

want to be well-known and highly-regarded in

Nigeria, there are a few easy steps you need to

take. Here are some suggestions that are bound

to ensure that you will soon become the talk of

the town.

1.Steal public funds

Nigerians love thieves. We have a lot of respect

for them. Thieves are the men and women of

the people. Thieves are deemed to be people of

courage and strategic thinking. In a nation of the

poor, people are concerned that their kith and

kin should be represented in the tabernacles of

the looters. Otherwise, we feel short-changed.

Therefore, the man who wants to be highly-

esteemed knows his thievery will elicit wide

support and appreciation among his people.

If you ever get access to public funds, don’t

make the mistake of stealing millions of naira.

Steal billions. Remember, you might not get a

second chance. It is turn-by-turn Nigeria Limited.

Commit a tithe of your stolen loot to public

largesse and you are in for the good. Use a

fraction of it to build a monument for yourself in

your village and bring the press to the unveiling.

Steal billions then spend a few thousands

sending three children in your community to

school. In no time at all, you will become a

superstar. Friends will donate their daughters for

you to marry. Streets will be named after you

long before you die. You will be invited to seat

on the high table at public functions.

Display your wealth. Nigerians have a simple

demand: “Show us the money.” Therefore, show

off the money. Don’t buy a Mercedes Benz.

Every Tom, Dick and Harry now drives that. Drive

cars that are outrageously expensive and

unusual. Make sure they are bullet-proof; not

because anybody will shoot at you, but because

bullet-proof cars are more highly-regarded. Buy

a Ferrari, a Lamborghini or an Aston Martin. Let

it be in a flashy colour. Then cruise every now

and then in the Lagos traffic jam.

Get a good PR firm. Give them a simple agenda:

to make you famous. Make sure you are at any

and every happening event in Nigeria. Hang out

with celebrities. With brown-envelopes given to

strategically-placed journalists, you can ensure

you are always in the news. Make sure you are a

regular feature in the Ovation and style pictorial

magazines.

If you are caught by EFCC and brought to trial,

buy “aso-ebi” for your supporters’ club. Bring

them to court with you so they can sing your

praise-songs. Write a cheque and give it to the

judge. The case will be promptly thrown out on

the grounds of a technicality.

Run for president of the country

If you want to be highly esteemed in Nigeria,

you need to run for high office. Don’t waste time

focusing on being a local government chairman.

Run for president. The fact that you don’t stand

a chance does not matter. You will get all the

plaudits you need by the mere fact of running

for the office.

Declare your candidacy long before the election,

so you will have a long time to be interviewed on

the radio and television and to have specials

done about you in the newspapers. Enjoy the

limelight. Tell people that God appeared to you

in a dream and declared that you are the next

president of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

Don’t worry when this prophecy fails. People are

more interested in the declaration of a prophecy

than in its failure.

If it fails, you can keep running for election as

president every four years. That way, people will

realise that your prophecy is still on the way.

When the election results are announced, go on

television and declare that it was the worst

election in the history of Nigeria. Tell the people

the election was heavily rigged. Indeed, you have

never seen such a massively fraudulent election

in your entire life. Tell Nigerians you are the

people’s choice but not INEC’s choice.

Rent a small crowd and get them to riot. Let

them burn a few tyres. Appoint an unemployed

graduate to be their spokesman. When the

television cameras arrive, he should tell the

world you are the best president Nigeria has yet

to have. It does not matter if, at the end of the

day, you only obtained 17 votes in the entire

country. It does not matter if the only people

who voted for you are the members of your

immediate family. The fact is you ran for

president of Nigeria. That will become a

permanent part of your C.V. From then on, you

will always be referred to as “ex-presidential

candidate.”

As “ex-presidential candidate” you become

eligible to be the Minister of Agriculture. You also

become an expert on everything. You will be

invited regularly to “oraculate” on television

about vital national issues. Any time you want to

say something, preface it by saying: “In my

experience as a former presidential candidate of

this great country…” Then you can sponsor some

eggheads to write books in your name in which

you talk about “My Vision for Nigeria.”

Become a motivational preacher

Don’t take too long being a pastor. Within a year

or two, promote yourself to Bishop or

Archbishop. Don’t allow anybody to disrespect

you by calling you “Mister.” Tell them: “Call me

Reverend.” When you are introduced, you will be

referred to as “Your Grace.”

Every day, cram two or three big-sounding words

from the dictionary. Find ways to use them as

you preach. For example, words beginning with

“octo” are highfalutin. You can say: “the whole

thing is octogenarian.” Or you can say:

“Everything is octodilapidatory.” Don’t worry if

they cannot find your words in the dictionary. It

only means you have become more learned than

the dictionary. People will listen to your

messages and will not understand anything you

have said. Therefore, they will become convinced

you are making a lot of sense. The discussion will

be all about your English. Very soon, a university

in your village will give you an honorary

doctorate in the French language.

Your accent is also important. Don’t speak

English like an Ibadan man. Speak with the kind

of phonetics that even your mother will wonder

where you were born. Remember this: the

American accent is more nasal and more difficult

to understand than the British accent.

Therefore, it is more impressive. You don’t have

to go to the United States in order to talk like an

American. Just study a few Hollywood films and

start talking like Frank Sinatra.

Keep your eye on the ball. Remember: the

agenda is to be highly esteemed. So don’t bother

preaching the gospel of the kingdom of God. If

you do, you will be hated. Preach, instead the

prosperity gospel. Tell your church-members

that the poor will become rich, the unmarried

will get married, the barren will have children,

and the jobless will get jobs. Write books with

titles like: “Your Best Life Now.” Give people

seven strategies and five keys to instant wealth.

Tell them to get ready, there is going to be a

divine transfer of wealth every year from now

on. Tell them to give Jesus a wiper.

Get a local rap artist to come up with suitable

sound-bites. “Inch by inch it’s a cinch.” “Turn

your scars into stars.” That is it: you become the

flavour of the month. Very soon, you will be

flying your own motivational jet.

Be a success

It does not matter what you succeed at. Just

make sure you are successful and Nigerians will

esteem you. You can be an armed robber; as

long as you are successful, you will be esteemed.

You can be a drug-pusher. Just make sure you

are successful at it. Nobody cares how you make

your money. All they want to know is that you

have the money.

“Money answers all things.” So go to that

wedding and spray the bride in dollars and

euros. Go to your village and build a villa there.

Also sink a bore-hole, so people can come to

your house to fetch water. Everybody will love

you and sing your praises.

Nothing succeeds in Nigeria like success. Failure

is not an option. If you fail, your parents will

disown you. Your mother-in-law will abuse you.

Your wife will divorce you. Your fiancée will give

you back your engagement ring. Your children

will change their surname. Your friends will

delete your cell-phone number. The LASTMA

official will harass you on the road. Your

birthday will not be celebrated in the

newspapers. Your pastor will not remember your

name. So you better not fail otherwise you will

be dead, buried and forgotten.

Footnote

If you try any of these methods iand Nigerians

still don’t like you, then you are a lost cause.

There is only one option left for you. Pack your

load, buy a ticket and go to Ghana. You will not

be missed.

Thumbs-up to Ochuko Ukwade

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