The.hawker.

Everyone in the bus was suddenly in a hurry. They had been in the gridlock for about twenty minutes. Speculations of what the cause of the traffic could be were bouncing around inside the bus. One man suggested that a car must have broken down in the middle of the road and upon the dismissal of that hypothesis, another man added that it might be armed robbers. After the panic from alarmed passengers came an onslaught of insults and rebukes on the newest most hateful man in the bus community. A few minutes later, a lady peered through her window and announced that it was in fact an army check point.

With their minds at ease, transactions began between hungry passengers and eager road traffic hawkers.
"How much for those bananas?" A young man asked for what seemed like the hundredth time to a girl of not more than sixteen lifting a tray of bananas for the man who was yet to make up his mind which bunch was biggest.
"Oga, they are all the same price, 50 naira." The girl said trying to sound as polite as her trembling arm could permit.
"Here, give me that one." The man said handing her a five hundred naira note.

Zoom, zoom. The driver of the rickety bus commanded the engine forward as the army officer rapped on the bus twice signaling it clear to move.
"Wait! Driver wait!" The man screamed frantically at a non responsive driver.
"My change! Give me my money back! No, not the bananas! The money!!"
"Oga no change"
"I don't care! Give me my five hundred! I no buy again" the man yelled switching to typical Nigerian pigin English and sweating profusely in the 20 seconds the transaction with this idiotically slow girl who should have stayed in school and left this delicate work for professionals began going south.

The girl tossed the bananas through the window at the man, in her confusion, barely avoiding a collision with the road block by so little. She glanced at her compadres in trade all of whom stood there through out the whole drama grateful for the entertaining break from work they all deserved and they smiled at her. She glanced with concern over at the army man who to her relief didn't seem to understand what all the extra noise was about. Her eyes conveyed confusion and remorse but the smile forming on her lips betrayed her. She will eat well today. "Christmas is a little early this year" a little voice whispered in her ears and she immediately baptized the sweet voice benevolent that wouldn't see her go hungry.
"Thieves! Thieves! She did that on purpose. Evil daughter of the putrid waters. She shall choke on all four hundred and fifty naira of my change!" The young man swore, wiping the sweat off his face.
"Driver, you maniac, why did you not stop?!" He yelled in labored voice forward to the back of the driver's head who was smiling wickedly at the road ahead.
"When soldier man say go, you go" was all the driver said.
"I lost my money because you are as brave as a Yoruba man in a bar fight! My sister would have put this old dying bus of yours in reverse if the whole battalion was at that check point and she is twelve!"
"I'm sure your sister wouldn't have priced a bunch of bananas for the better part of 10minutes." A passenger said from the front setting the whole bus in a bust of eye watering laughter which was brewing for awhile since the incident.
"That has to be the most expensive bunch of bananas I have seen. You should get a showcase for it." Another man added only to make the bus rock harder from another wave of laughter.

(Adopted from Chidera Onu's "Harmattan" coming 2017 in bookstores around you.)